What it Takes to Change, For Good

The process of letting go of belongings certainly could be viewed as a loss. Some of my close friends and family have called me over the last week, as they are faithfully reading this blog (thank you!), with statements like, "How are you doing? Are you hanging in there? This must me so hard".

It is true that saying goodbye to one's things can be difficult -- security, identity, memories, comfort and monetary value are or can be (unhealthily) tied to what we own. And yes, I've had a some "moments" in this process where I've picked up "X" item, turned it around in my hands and had a ping pong type conversation with myself: "Yes I use it -- Really? When was the last time? -- But it has value -- In what way? -- In the way I say it does, damn it!"

In order to reduce these conversations and encourage myself in this process, I've taken to reading blogs by others trying to live more simply/frugally/”more with less”/minimalist/etc. There are plenty out there, too. And while the content is interesting, it is the mere quantity of people deliberately trying to live simply, banding together in support groups, blog communities, churches, and so on that inspires and encourages me most. The number of books, online conversations, and TED Talks on the topic tells me that this is not easy -- because if it were, all said groups would not need to exist.

But it's not that hard either. At least not this part of it -- the letting go. In a way, it is like losing weight. As you are losing it, it is exciting because of the progress you see and feel. It can even be exhilarating -- there is more room in your cloths, and often in your life. But it is the maintenance phase of keeping the weight off that is difficult (I know a thing or two about that as well).

I want to be aware of the yo-yo trap I have fallen into in the past as it relates to living more simply. Really, that's why I started this blog. I asked myself to be reflective throughout this process, to pay attention to all parts of myself -- heart, mind, body and spirit--so that in the most conscious way possible, I could make a permanent shift in how I live. I know with certainty that less is indeed more when it comes to material belongings. But if it were that simple it would be that simple.

Let me go a little academic here for a moment and share a bit about what contributes to the transformational learning I’m trying to achieve—and actually use some of the 11 years of higher education I'm still paying for.

[Parts of this come from a lit review I did on transformational learning]

I’m deliberately trying to engage in a transformative learning experience:
Transformational learning “refers to the process by which we transform our taken-for-granted frames of references (meaning perspectives, habits of mind, mind-sets) to make them more inclusive, discriminating, open, emotionally capable of change, and reflective” (Mezirow, 1990, pp. 8-9). These transformed ways of seeing the world then transfer to new behaviors or ways of interacting with the world.

To do so, I have to recognize the influence of my cultural surroundings:
Mezirow (the father of adult transformative learning) explains that frames of reference (habits of mind and resulting points of view) mirror the cultural paradigm in which people live, both macro (wider society with which one identifies) and micro (primary family). The deeper our awareness of our cultural paradigm, the more able we are to make changes in our thinking and behavior that are counter to if, if that is our desire.

And to solidify a cognitive and behavioral change, I have to engage in active, deliberate reflection:
Sharon B. Merriam and Carolyn M. Clark’s (1993) study, “Learning From Life Experience: What Makes It Significant?” identified qualifiers for experience to become significant; included are ones that:

(a) personally affect the learner

(b) are subjectively valued by the learner, and

(c) are attended to and reflected upon by the learner.

Simply put, the learner must find the experience significant enough that it stands out, but then must also give it time and attention for processing and reflection.

And this process is preferably done with others:
Critical reflection (for transformational learning) usually does not happen in isolation. Reflective discourse is an important contributor to uncovering one’s assumptions and frames of reference. “By tapping collective experience” (Mezirow, 2000, p. 11) individuals are able to critically examine their assumptions and lenses one use to interpret the world.

I hope you will join me!