It’s Not the Table Around Which They Gather

Three nights ago I sold my farmhouse style dining room table. The speed in which it sold on Craigslist (6 hours) confirmed in me that I had reason to be sad to release it. Built for a “you can always fit one more” kind of gathering, it is sturdy re-purposed wood, and its friendly benches were an invitation to anyone who entered my house.

The problem is, over the past year, very few people have entered. My life has been too busy, with at least one trip a month, some of them a month in length, a demanding schedule when I am in the office, and the necessary (but enjoyable) effort at maintaining a healthy commuter relationship with my sweetie. I just don’t seem to have time to do one of my most favorite things – having friends into my house for lingering meals, great conversation, and hours of speed scrabble, and moreover, a lifestyle that fosters community and an open door policy.

When I purchased the table (from a lovely woman who somehow made it and others in her spare time), I had in mind my homes in Ecuador, Mexico, and Minneapolis, where an unusual day was when someone hadn’t stopped by. Community life was rich, and it has been something I have wanted to foster in D.C.

I think I may have been subconsciously channeling Kevin Costner’s character’s “If you built it, they will come” philosophy, in a literal sense.

Building community requires effort, desire, and commitment, but what it needs most is the simple act of being present. I work with the Franciscans, an uncountable number of people around the globe (literally, no one knows how many there are) who for the past 800 years have gifted the world with a ministry and way of life, that at its core, is about being present to others, to themselves, and to God.

My life has been impacted in many positive ways through my work with the Franciscans. I have been challenged to practice the “ministry of presence” in the workplace, which isn’t a natural approach for a high production type like me. However, I have experienced again and again the value of slowing down to just be with people, without (or at least before) I begin to check off items on the agenda.

I am recognizing as I write this, that I have become part of a rich community at Franciscan Mission Service – it is where I spend the majority of my time after all. And while it has not happened in my home -- around this table that I purchased for that purpose – it happened where I put my time, my presence, and my heart.

Tables can be almost magical places if we let them – they are where we break bread together and share the stories of our days. For me, it just isn’t at this table, at this time.

[I sold the table to a young couple with 3 small children. They were excited to find something big enough where their growing family could eat together and sturdy enough for their young boys to climb all over. That sounds magical enough for me.]