Applying the "Tuxedo Approach" to Special Occasion Items

Today, as I was sorting and organizing my photo collection, I came across some classic shots from my friends’ weddings. In my twenties, I was your average woman-- serving dutifully as a bridesmaid in six weddings (I can actually say I was very close to each of these women, thank goodness). Of the six, I was lucky to only have to buy four dresses (two brides let us wear any black dress we wanted -- they were way ahead of the curve). If my memory serves me correctly (50/50 chance), the other four each uttered the famous "you can wear it again" promise. While I may have feigned belief in this idea, as every good bridesmaid should, I can safely say I never wore any of them again. I am happy to report that I donated each of them before I had to pack and move them anywhere.

Bridesmaid’s dresses are one of those infamous special occasion items that collect dust and take up a lot of storage space. I mean, there was a movie made about the collection of bridesmaid’s dresses after all (27 Dresses).

Meanwhile, even though I knew I would never wear the dress again, I remember thinking the men in the various weddings were getting a bad deal: they had to drop $100 to rent a tux for one evening (far less than buying the dress) and then bring it back the next day. What a waste of money!

Oh, the errors of my youthful thinking.

Or my socialized consumerist thinking (I’m really trying to figure out when we collectively decided owning things was better than renting or borrowing them?)

As I have been sorting through my belongings over the last week, I have observed that there are a notable number of items in my house that fit the category of "special occasion items" that go beyond the one-time-wear dresses.

Special occasion items could be defined as something that is used once a year or less. Some of mine include:

• Christmas decorations or any holiday decorations
• Fondue pots (2)
• Tennis rackets (2)
• China and other special dishes
• Turkey roasting pan
• Dressy shoes

[A categorical item that I am not including in this list is books. I'll save that for another day, as I am nowhere close to being ready to reflect upon the quantity or release of my books.]

I came up with the following questions to help me discern the place these items have (or do not have) in my life:

1. In the case of the holiday items, are they an important part of my ongoing celebration of the seasons? Are these items essential to making Christmas or any other special occasion full of the relationships, experiences and memories I want to cultivate?

I find Christmas to be a tricky area. There is so much sentimental value tied up in Christmas. However, what I do know is that over the last 15 years, despite my nomad lifestyle, I have managed to pull together some form of Christmas decor that I have enjoyed and has created a festive environment in my home -- and it has not been the same items year after year. For example, I like to use real greenery, often scraps from a tree lot, a lot of tea lights (which I use all the time anyway), and simple white lights. I enjoyed the decorations of the friends with whom I was living. I also now have a minimalist Tannenbaum tree that comes apart and takes up almost no space at all.

In review of my current inventory, I have a few holiday items I haven't used since I moved to DC two years ago. They will go in the donation pile. I am fairly confident that my celebration of the seasons will be no less or more joyous without these items (I know I am walking on thin ice here). I am allowing myself one small box for now. I recognize that traditions are often supported by some of the items we pull out of boxes each year, and there is a specialness in enjoying them during that season. I just want to keep it to a few items if I can.

2. Can I rent or borrow it from someone else?

Asking this question helps me more easily give away the fondue pots, tennis rackets and turkey roaster on my special occasion list. Although there is some sentimental value tied up with the turkey roaster, it is a big space hog and I know its disappearance from my home will not cause me to love or remember my grandma any less.

The fondue pots—one a gift, one purchased—were acquired because I love throwing dinner parties. And who doesn’t like some hot cheese and chocolate for dipping? However, and again, I haven’t used them in 2 years, and when I did use them, it was once a year at most. I know if I really need one, I can borrow it.

The tennis rackets are “special occasion” because they only come out on the Fourth of July and maybe Labor Day. But that hasn’t happened since 2007. And if I am near a tennis court on one of these BBQ holidays, I’m going to wager my veggie burger that there will be a couple to rackets to borrow.

3. Can I use the items differently?

I like this question because it opens up the door to solutions for downsizing other than “just get rid of it”.

For example, I have china that I only used once in the last year. The traditional use of china is sort of odd if you think about it --expensive, beautiful dishes that are only used on rare occasions. Meanwhile, in our day to day lives, we use the boring stuff.

Even though I am not the type that would buy china (no judgement for those that are), I really like the set I was given -- it is bone white with a simple black and silver rim. It is also is a family heirloom. I am not donating it. Instead, I vow to put it in an accessible place once I move and to use it more often. If a piece breaks from regular use, how is that worse than discarding it now? Or, how is it worse than storing it, but only using it once a year?

4. Is there an all-purpose option for multiple versions of special occasion items?

Ladies, I’m thinking about our fancy dress up shoes. Does anyone have more than one pair of special occasion black shoes that you only wear a couple of times per year? I will just go ahead and say I do. I'm going to eliminate the redundancy -- a strappy black heel goes a long way in the world of dress up.

I think there is something to be learned from men’s rental of tuxedos, which stands in stark contrast to women’s tradition of buying expensive dresses that are twice as expensive (because we get to keep them!), but few look good wearing.

Some positive outcomes to this approach may be:

1. Eliminates the need to store items

2. Reduces the guilt when you eventually decide to get rid of it

3. Promotes sharing (borrowing from and lending to friends)

4. Is environmentally friendly

5. Reduces the chance that an item will go out of date/style/functionality/wear-ability

6. Creates more variety, without having to store it

7. Through practice, teaches us that we do not need to own something to enjoy it

(oh no, what about the books?)